Crow: (walking into the theatre) So here we are back in the theatre. Our home away from... the bridge.
Bob: Why can't people just write good fiction and leave us alone! I mean, MST3K is over now, but do you guys get a break? No! You are stuck on the Net doomed to riff fics forever and I'm stuck with you!
Mike: (to Bob) You're really cheerful sometimes, you know that?
Bob: Sorry. I'm just a little bitter.
Servo: (sarcastically) Really? We hadn't noticed.

(Everyone sits down in their respective seats.)

One Fine Day in Mainframe

Servo: (singing) One fine day I loved yooooou!

Crow: Aahh! They're coming out of the woodwork!
Bob: More ReBoot Shorts?! I thought D^K's was the last one!
Mike: Apparently not.

I decided not to enter it, but I changed it around a little.

Mike: Oh sure! Didn't submit it, but you expect the same treatment? Would you like some grey pupon and a silk pillow while we're at it?

Anyway, it's about the women getting the men, then ends with the men getting women.

Crow: Great! Now we don't have to read it! (begins to get up)
Mike: (puts a hand on Crow's shoulder) Not so fast.
Crow: (disappointed) Awww!

It'll make more sense if you read it. So do so!

Crow: (begging) Please? Do I have to?
Bob: You two pulled Mike and I out of bed for D^K's fic. The least you can do is sit through this one.
Crow: (whining) Yeah, but at least I had read the fic before hand.

Bob and Dot were on their first, well, "date"

Mike: Whoop-de-doo.

at the Diskétté, a fancy French restaurant.

Servo: Uh huh? Right.

The bill was free because

Crow: Bob and Dot ran away before the bill came.

Cecil worked part time there,

Bob: Because Dot didn't pay him enough.

and he let Bob and Dot eat for free under one condition:

Servo: They did their own dishes.

He is Cesil not Cecil. Bob had ordered a large data-dumpling, and Dot had the soup du jour.

Servo: (Dot) What's the Soup De Jour?
Mike: (Cesil) Crab Cakes

"Ceci- Cesil sure has a hard life, huh Dot?" Bob asked.

"What do you mean, Bob?" Dot asked, stairing into his eyes

Bob: As she got winded trying to climb up them.

with a semi-menacing look.

Mike: Semi-menacing look?
Bob: How does one so that?
Crow: Probably along the same lines of "stairing" into someone's eyes.

"Well, having a name no one says right, having a French accent, being confined to a track..."

Crow: (Bob) Having a French accent...
Servo: (Bob) Having an annoying voice...
Mike: (Bob) Having three fingers...
Bob: (Bob) Did I mention having a French accent?

"Do you have something against the French?"

Crow: (Bob) No, just him.

"No! No! Say, when di you join Ceci- Cesil?"

Mike: (Silvia) Picture it... Sisally 1942...

"That's it, Bob! I'm leaving you!" Dot stood up sharply.

Servo: (stunned) I think I can speak for everyone in saying that I never saw that coming...
Crow: But it's about time though.

"But Dot-" Bob was interrupted by Dot's soup du jour splashing his face

Bob: Ow! Ow! It burns! It burns!
Crow: (Bob) I'm melting! What a world! What a world!

and Dot's silverware hitting Bob's head.

Mike: (Bob) Um... Dot? I've got a fork sticking out of my head...

Bob was knocked out.

Crow: What a wuss!
Bob: Hey!

(Bob fans: He gets better!)

Mike: (President of the WBE) You better have not injured his eye brows or you will burn!

Just then, Matrix shot down a wall.

Servo: And yelled "Koolaid!"
Crow: I think I can speak for everyone when I say, I so expected Matrix doing that...

"All right, you're all going down! Gun! Death Blossom Mode!"

Servo: ...
Bob: (shocked) He's finally cracked...
Crow: I never thought I'd see the day when he would finally crack!

"Enzo!" AndrAIa came in. "Sorry. He went a little random."

Mike: (AndrAIa) It's all my fault. I took him shopping at Walmart for six hours straight.

"I am not random!" he yelled. He took out a champagne bottle.

Tom: Then proceeded to break it on his head, sit in the bowl of punch and sing the entire score from the 'Pirates of Panzans'.

"Enzo, this isn't like you. What happened?"

Crow: (Matrix, whining) I broke a nail!

"Nothing happened!

Bob: (looking around suspiciously) Yeah, that's it... nothing happened... yeah...

Shut up!" Matrix took out half of the place.

Mike: For dinner.
Bob: Aww. That was nice of him.

"Okay, Sparky, you leave me with no choice."

Crow: (AndrAIa) I'm leaving you.

AndrAIa put her nails into Matrix

Mike: Killing him instantly.

. Matrix collapsed to the floor

Bob: Dead.

. "Now who could have done this to Enzo?"

Servo: Um... you?

Mike the TV ran into the restaurant.

Crow: SMASH!

"HELLO! See the acclaimed film, Revenge of the Renegades!"

Bob: And this time, it's complete random violence.
(All cheer)

"Mike! You did it!"

Servo: You were the one that started the events that led to Matrix's death! Let me be the first to congratulate you!

"Well duh! I did it, I did it, I did it!"

Bob: (Mike) What do I win?

Dot then stood behind Mike carrying a weapon.

Crow: Must run in the family.

She tapped Mike.

Bob: For maple syrup.

Mike turned around and saw the weapon- a remote!

Servo: (sarcastically) The horror.

Mike

Bob: Died.

fainted.

"Three down, two to go," Dot said.

"Let's have Mouse get the last two," AndrAIa suggested.

"Nah. Hex needs in on this."

Mike: (Dot) She hasn't tried to delete Mainframe for a long time and she's been a little depressed lately.

"Gotcha. Let's go."

In the Principle Offic,

Bob: Which was right beside the Principal Office.

Phong was spinning around in circles.

Servo: (Phong) I don't feel so good.

"Where is Bob? He is to be here by now!"

Crow: (Phong) The Superbowl is about to start.
Servo: Staring the Packers!
(Everyone cheers)

Hex appeared in a flash of light. "AAA!"

Bob: (Hex) I'm having car problems.
Crow: But wouldn't that be you?
(Bob glares)

"Why, hello Phong!" she said joyfully.

Mike: (Phong) "Why hello, random, insanely powerful, formerly evil virus!" Phong said nervously.

"Bob isn't able to attend. Biscuit?" She held out a tray of

Servo: Poison!

buttermilk biscuits.

Servo: Oh.

"Well, okay. Just one." Phong took one and ate it. He then slumped over

Bob: Dead.

. "Happy! Happy! I like this sleeping ingredient. I should use it more often!"

Servo: (Hex) Now, where's Bob?

Mouse came into the P.O. with Ray who was

Mike: Dead.

unconscious. "Got 'em by ahtacking 'im.

Crow: Gazhuntite

Sorta."

Bob: (Mouse) Kinda. Not really. Well, what ever you say.

"Goody! I hope that means you...

Servo: (Hex) ...are leaving Mainframe?

"ain't" going to attack him anymore."

"Huh?"

Mike: My thoughts exactly.

"Oh sorry. Just trying your accent out."

Bob: Why would you want to?

Dot and AndrAIa arrived, Dot with Bob and Mike, AndrAIa with Matrix.

Crow: Bonny with Clyde.
Servo: Sonny with Cher.
Mike: Batman with Robin.
Bob: Zeigfried with Streisand

"We're ready!" Mouse said.

"We are too. Let's go," AndrAIa said.

Crow: (hopeful) Could we?
Mike: (flatly) No.

Servo: (singing) It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Bob awoke in a small room.

Crow: With padded walls.

He slowly opened his eyes.

Bob: I'm blind!

he saw Mouse, Hex, AndrAIa,

Mike: Tim "The Tool-man" Taylor
Crow: Jerry Seinfeld
Servo: Barbara Walters

and a binome by him. He wondered why they were here, and most impotantly, why he was here.

Mike: A question that has plagued mankind since the invention of Lee Press-on nails.

It slowly came back to him.

Servo: He was John Wayne.

"It was Dot who did it!" he said, although it wasn't his voice

Crow: But the voices in his head.

. It was Dot's He looked at his hands.

Servo: Servo looked for the missing period.

Green!

Bob: Blue!
Servo: Red!
Crow: Gold!
Mike: Puce!

"What? How could this happen?"

Servo: Maybe too many vegetables?

The door opened in the chamber, and in came Phong, mike, Matrix, Ray,

Crow: Steven Speilburg
Bob: H.G. Wells
Mike: The Maytag Repairman

and, suprisingly, Bob! Bob couldn't believe this.

Bob: I can't believe that I'm wearing the same thing that I am.
Crow: What?

(Bob shrugs)

They had this planned out? he thought. No wonder why Dot asked me out!

Crow: Huh?
Bob: What?
Servo: What he'd say?

Later everyone had awaken and had a big startle like Bob.

Mike: (Bob) Backstreet Boys sound exactly like The New Kids On the Block!

Mike was annoyed by and image of himself; Phong had a long speech about why a virus is a good thing, too; "Ray" and "Mouse" just kissed again; Matrix almost got shot by "Matrix", and "Bob" and "Dot" did that together thing. All was well. Kinda.

Mike: Oh, now I get it! I don't understand a thing!

After the imagery machine was turned off, they all had a chuckle at Hex's lair.

Crow: (Dot, laughing) What did we do that so funny?
Servo: (Bob, laughing) Who cares!

(Ed. Note: Ha! Someplace otherthan the diner! I knew I could do it! Ha Ha! Ahem. Anyway, on with the story)

Mike: Uh... yeah.

"Dot, you told me to act all macho and blow up the restaurant!" Matrix said.

Crow: (Dot) Yes, now I can get the insurance money.

"And Ms. AndrAIa, you said to start showing ads for that movie!" Mike said.

Servo: (AndrAIa) I've always been curious as to what Matrix would do if he snapped.

"It all led to your downfall." Dot said.

Mike: Ooo! Flashbacks to English class.

"But who looked like Mike?" Bob asked.

Mike: I did.

"Oh that was me!" a little nerdy voice said. They all turned to look It was Specks!

"Oh!" Bob exclaimed.

Crow: "Why?" Crow asked.
Bob: Bob scratched his head and shrugged.

After they had had all their laughs, Bob wanted to see Dot privately.

Crow: (Bob, to Dot) I want to see you privately.

"What is it, Bob?" Dot asked.

Crow: (Bob) You know how you've been finding me wearing your underwear lately?

"Well, I have something to say." Bob said. "I-I-"

Servo: (Bob) I admit it! I'm a cross dresser!

Bob then put Dot in a statis field.

Bob: Huh?
Crow: Wha?

He went back into Hex's lair and pulled Matrix aside.

Mike: (Bob, snickering) And I said to him, "But Warden, those aren't my pants!"

"I got Dot. You get AndrAIa. This is going to be a real comeback, huh?"

Crow: Wait-a-minute. Comeback? Comeback for what?
Servo: I have no idea what's going on.
Bob: I've already given up.

"Yep. Heh-heh." Matrix set Gun to stun and walked AndrAIa away from the others and out of the lair.

Servo: (calling) Punctuation! Here punctuation!

"I have something important to say, Andy." Matrix fingered Gun.

Mike: And this being a children's show too.

"What is it?" AndrAIa asked.

"You'll see." Matrix smiled and took Gun out. *BANG*

Servo: Bang. You're dead.

THE END

Crow: Hurray!

Epilouge

Crow: D'oh!

Ha. well, that was fun.

Bob: No it wasn't.

Now you may ask, where was Little Enzo?

Mike: Alright. Where is Little Enzo?

Well, he was at school.

Mike: Lucky him.
Crow: Didn't get stuck in this story.
Servo: And lucky us. We didn't get one "Alphanumeric!" in this story either.
Mike: Tom, it's not time for that yet.
Servo: Oh yeah...

Figures huh?

Bob: Yeah I guess... in a weird "let's disclude the kid and then explain it in the Epilogue which is actually another Author's Note" sort of way.

Dot didn't want to interfere with the "vast knowledge of learning".

Bob: (snickering) That doesn't make any sense.
Mike: Well, then it goes perfect with the rest doesn't it?

I think you can guess what happens next.

Crow: Well, not really.

If you can't tough.

Bob: (sarcastically) Oh gee, thanks!

I hope you enjoyed it.

All: We didn't.

I did.

Servo: Well, at least one of us did.

Okay now I'm rambling.

Crow: Yeah, get lost!

Goodbye.

Servo: Good riddance!
Mike: Alright. Time to pick out what was good in the fic. Tom already pointed out that there were no mentions of "Alphanumeric". Ram chip for you.
Servo: Yes!
Crow: Uh... It didn't go into too much detail of the conversations during the confusion of who was who.
Mike: Good.
Bob: No self-insertion or deaths occurred in it.
Mike: Very good!
Crow: Is that it? Can we go now?
Mike: (sighs) Yes, Crow. You can go now.
Crow: Alright! In your face A_Einome!

(Crow runs out)

Bob: Mike? Do you think we've seen the end of the ReBoot Shorts?
Mike: I certainly hope so Bob. I certainly hope so.